Monday, December 15, 2008

I´m going to answer dad´s questions really quick, I don´t have alot of time. I kind of miss my area, because I finally knew what´s up and I had a lot of ideas, but it´s too late now, I feel like I failed my chance in that area, there were so many things we could have done if I had spoken up or done something that I knew I should have. Too late now. I like this area, except a few things, we got called gringos and guerro´s alot back in Sante Fe, but here I´ve heard more and been harrassed more in this first week than the whole change there. It´s so frustrating! I want to reply, say something, but I can´t. I don´t know. It´s just really annoying. Sorry agian if this letters not quite a piece of wonder bread. This morning was both very upsetting and very good. Very upsetting because I didn´t get out of bed til 8 because of exhaustion. And good caus I have about half of this house cleaned too. Every missionary house has one thing in common. They´re about as clean as a hobo´s cardboard shack behind the hedges. So I did alot of that. Swept all of it, moved the furniture and stacked some mattresses, each bed has a new mattress, so I put the old ones under it and now we have doublle stacked beds! Lol. Our little Christmas tree I put on top of a dresser on top of a teddy bear blanket, very cute, and I put our Ferrero Rocher´s beneath, and all the other gifts we´ll get. Lol. Organized our missionary book case, all the phamphlets and items, books etc. Filled a black garbage bag with poop. (Not literally) Random thought, I´m going to investigate the mail system this week with the members, Lol. I want to send a few Christmas letters, like I said before you might be getting most of them and run a few errands. Lol, sorry! = ) Christmas here is as of now doesn´t look too bright, Christmas eve I think we´ll just be working til 9:30 or 10. Elder Martinez likes to stay up a little later, so we get home really late and basically plan then sleep. I don´t like it and am trying to change it a little. This just means I don´t have time to brush my teeth, organize the area book or write in my journal... nothing much, lol. Christmas day, we call home, I don´t know when or how. But we´re going to. Lol. Then we leave and work ... walk around all day. Yesterday was bad, and this is why I like and dislike the area. The members are all realy good, fóod´s alot better, more hand made tortillas and such. = P The area is alot nicer, not much trash, and most of the houses are rather nice, bigger decorated and all. Some are still poor and others just trashy. Every part has its ghetto. The bad part, yesterday though we heard a gun shot and 10 minutes later an ambulance showed up, so I´m a little scared. There are a ton of drunks too, this mixed with eh harrassment, I don´t like walking around like we do at night, there´s one part of the city that´s down a little hill, or slope. And the whole things filed with mist, this whole little valley. This and there´s half as many street lights, it was incredibly scary. I think I´m going to talk to Elder Martinez about reserving nights to the other part of the city and avoiding dark streets or streets where we know there are kids and such to annoy us. Speaking of your avocado tree. I had one yesterday... can´t anything but feel the creamy texture. Weird. I don´t know. Spanish is good, interesting story. Wednesday or Thursday I just lost everything, it all left me. I couldn´t understand anything ELder Martinez told me let alone the other people. It was sudden, in the afternoon. All that morning I was fine, then we went to an appointment. ANd it was all gone! The next day too. Alot of praying, but then the NEXT day, I could speak, better than before. I have a million miles for improvement. But Sunday I could nderstand alot! Of coruse I don´t understand eerything, alot of idioms that I don´t get and words of course I still have yet to learn. One day I started to talk to someone who´s door we had knocked and said, Hola soy elder taylor este es mi compañero Elder Martinez somos missioneros, y nos gustaria compartir un mensaje de Jesucristo con usted. She replied, sorry I don´t speak English, of course in Spanish, but still. Grr.. I don´t believe these photos are going to go through, again. I´ve been struggling with alot lately, this last week has been a race for my mind. Alot of struggling, I´ve just felt so down lately. I don´t know what or who I´m going to be, but as of now I enjoy the growth I get from a mission. I need to go REALLY soon. I HATE contacting, well I did, it´s become easier in the last few days, but stopping somebody on the street and introducing ourselves and our message. That sounds easy, and there are somepeople just sitting around who are happy to talk, but others don´t care who we are. We have to contact 180 people every week with Elder Winkfield we´d SCHEDULE 2 hours or so more or less to do it, and just interrupt everybody's busy life. Get addresses and interested people and never visit them. Here I only contact if I feel like I should. 2 or 3 of the which have responded yes please come in, one of which has a baptismal date for the 27th. I beleive in contacting. I just can´t bring myself to like it! I don´t know, knocking is easier now too. I don´t know, I´ve been down on myself as a missinoary this whole week. In terms of people, we have two people who just need to go to church 1 time and they can be baptized, but they just don´t want to come. They´ve received a testimony and such, but just don´t come. One her mom is a member and her kid is a member, but she doesn´t care. A few others, but as of now I don´t know what direction this is going. We have just over 300 members in the ward and the attendance yesterday was around 70. So we´ll see. References and lessons with members are hard to come by unless we´re teaching the kids of a member which is a freebee. We have a lot of work to do. Maybe if Dad has ideas how we can motivate the ward and help these people. For this Sis. Dean. Has she asked? Has she searched for the answer. Ask and it shall be given seek and ye shall find knock and it shall be opened up to you. I believe this is a process for finding answers to all of our problems or questions. I firmly believe it means Pray-Scriptures-Act. People develop a testimony by living there lives in a way that is good. When we conform our lives to the way we should as taught by the Savior, we see that it is good. Pray.... I love the news about sweet cakes on trade! Lol, that´s amazing! I love hearing about the houses and the family and everything. I hope Rena´s doing ok, I never finished her letter before I got here, and as such never sent it. Oh well. It´s hard here, I don´t know what to think. I have hope for a brighter future and that everything will work out and I know either way the times going to pass, it doesn´t matter WHAT you do, the times going to pass. You can choose to slack or you can choose to use it, plan ahead cause there is no going back. I just hate being inadequate. I love growing but I´m so pathetic, I know so little my testimony and skills are so weak. I just need some loving. I only have like 300-400 pesos for the rest of the month. I lost 200, taxi was 130 and our lunch appointment fell through 50 and I bought some toiletries 100. I´m not going to use your money either caus I´ve been a fool with it. But I´m going to reduce my consumption a little. There´s good news though, I seem to act depending on the cleanliness around me. Once the house was clean I really spruced up, bought some gel, popped up and Im´beamin! I love you guys, I really miss you and the guys more than anything else. I feel I´m going to be pleasantly surprised for Christmas but as of now my hopes a little gloomy. Elder Martinez is cool, a little different at times. And this week has just been hard. I don´t know. My thoughts are all over the board. Maybe I´ll finish them in a hand written letter! Lol. A good meal sounds good, we´re going to that buffet today! I actually will use my card for that though. Lol. Buy that sign from Sweet cakes and the Ferrerro Rocher chocolates. Yesterday I thought about asking you to buy them so we´d be a little piece of chocolatecloser together! THANK YOU FOR THE PACKAGES!!!! I havent´gotten them but the thought of a little Christmas present warms my heart. I think I found something for David, lol. We´ll see, I hope to buy a few things in Vallarta if given the chance! Lol. The comment Dad made ¨At this speed, I will be dead soon¨ actually made my heart sink. I hate the thought of how many years you both´ll have when I get back. ... ............I want a little joy in my life. I KNOW ALL OF MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED! I know, my Spanish came back in full force, I gaind a desire to find people to knock doors and contact. Everythings going good with this member. I know he´s watching out for me, I just feel so pathetic for my sincere collage of weaknesses and follies. This member though, story until I wrap it up. The bishop´s son has been back from his mission for about 7 years now, he´s who we wash our clothes with. LOl. He asked me for 500 bucks the other day, not pesos. D.O.L.L.A.R.S. He´s ´trying´to open a ´business´and needs ´my help´. I was told two days before he asked me though by an inactive sister that he asks every white missionary, all the ´gringos´. So I had a very fortuante heads up. I know it´s all good though, no problems or anything such. Mom/Dad, friends, Christmas. Those have been my longings. I hardly thought about video games too this week. I´ve seen a few pictures of Christmas lights as seen in the states, I miss the music, the beautiful lights, sittin back and drinking hot coco. My friends, everything. I saw a really nice starbucks over in the center of the city and I long so bad to just go grab a nice hot chocolate and chill. IN a nice building. Relax by the fire. ... This is tough. My thoughts are gone. Í don´t know. Everything will come around though. I know. I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH! I thank you indefinately for everything you´ve done for me. I still look at the intials you scribbled on my garments and the occasional smiley face or heart. and it warms my heart so much, the little things that went into packing. I cried the other day again to think of how I acted the night before I left. You worked so diligently to help me go, with a warm heart knowing what was going to happen. I just wanted to fluff around. I hate myself for the pain I´ve put you through. I want to think about something happy though. I get your packages tomorrow, I believe! Tomorrów´s zone conference, and if they´ve gotten to Mexico, I get ém tomorrow! A few requests though, that you can just slip into a package that you send in the next few months. Chocolate, gum, mints, like altoids and icebreakers, Five gum and Stride. A few more pairs of those awesome socks you sent me lol! Don´t rush it or anything, just some surprises I wouldn't mind seeing again in my life. Lol. one week left though, to get a letter from the guys for Christmas, I´m going to start praying. Caus´that´s on the top of my list. I know it´s Christmas, but I wouldn´t mind chatting with maybe a few of them on Christmas too. I´m outa here, I love you guys! Remember remember remember. Send me photos too! I LOVED THE one of you and dad and Jason´s kids, it was good to see you two in Pine, and all the rest too! LOVE YOU!!!!!!! Until next Monday = )Love and Sincerity,-Jacob Daniel Taylor, Elder
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